Tuesday, December 07, 2004

THE HAIR ON MY NOSE

So the hair on my chinny-chin-chin
Is better than a hair on my nose.
Can there be a whinny-win-win?
It goes without saying, but I'll say it, I suppose

That the rhyme of all reason
Calumny tantamount to treason
In the vilified season
This hair sure ain't pleasin'

Let us guillotine the offending shaft
Off with it's 'ed, send it to bed, no, to the floor instead
But, we are rebellious, and not a little bit daft
Yet like sheep to the sheerer, to the barber we’re lead

Is this what we want? To cut what we soweth?
It’s utterly fantastic, a solution so drastic
To sever so sublime a gentle growth
Of this umbrage, I’ve become quite spastic

For the eye of the beholder, beholds a great wrong
In public I'm told it, in private I'm scolded
To bring my appearance to high standards erelong
The ego is crushed; it is bent and is folded

Belay your baleful eye; withhold your viewing
of this hair you're eschewing
Who do you think I am, a pimpled-faced soda jerker?
For it's not just the nose, but my persona you're skewing
Me thinks I'll go Islamic and wear a grey burkha

With slits for the eyes and shod in my sandals
I hide in the tents, hang out with the camels
In darkened alcoves lit with small candles
Avoiding the glances of two-legged mammals

I love this little one curled upon once proud snout
Our lives are filled with pain and sorrow
I want you here, hair; others want you out
Be us resigned; hair today, gone tomorrow

Snip

'03


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